Bei and I had an early rise to go for a enthusiastic jog at 6.30am this morning. As I have already planned my menu for tonight’s dinner the previous night, I decided to do my marketing for the only ingredient that I need, straight after our jog. Since we will be jogging around Seng Kang Square area and it is too early for a worthy marketing at Cold Storage in Compasspoint, I decided that I could perhaps give it a try at the only available choice then - the so-called “wet market” at Kopitiam Square (KS) just opposite.  

“Are you sure you want do that?…”alright, at least this time, it’s one whole chicken, there is no chance for monkey business”, Bei relented nonetheless.  

“But, no bargaining this time, cos you know they don’t buy that, not like the real wet market we knew”…”But have you forgotten those past experiences?” he continued cautiously.  

“Nope, we will just buy the chicken straight and leave thereafter”, Bei was quick enough to warn me immediately as he noticed that I have started to scan through the piles of seafood and vegetables, as we slowly made our way through to the chicken stall.  

I nodded sheepishly, smiling back at him gratefully.  

So under Bei’s “strict supervision”, we did get our chicken without any unnecessary delay. The black chicken was chopped up into four pieces by the hawker uncle which was requested by us.  

You see, it has been a long while since our last homemade herbal soup, hence I was really excited and was already visualizing how my tonic soup will look like after its done, with the tantalizing aroma and smoothness of the nourishing soup to indulge ourselves with later in the evening.  

Now you may be wondering what is the big deal for buying stuffs from KS? Fact is, I have not patronize any of the stalls at this KS since my last feedback letter to ZaoBao back in May, due to the lousy experiences I previously encountered. For countless times, I had bought from there vegetables that are more expensive than the nearby supermarkets, fishes that are less fresh (not cheap either) and poultry that weighed lesser than it claimed. Since then, Bei and I made a pact and decided that we are going to boycott them (esp. the chicken stall), even if it means going farther or more expensive purchases.  

So yes, sure enough I was being punished for eating up my words so soon.  

Needless to say now, that was indeed a wrong move for me. Getting back home and when I opened up the bag of chopped chicken, I realized that one of the chicken breast was gone! Alas, he did it again! I shook my head with disappointment. I called out to Bei immediately.  

Who move away the chicken breast?

“Okay, this is it! we shall never ever step into that dammed place again!” I can see that Bei is very firm this time. Well so am I.  

Meanwhile during the day, few interesting thoughts sprouted through my mind:  

(1) I tried to reason how a sound and sane business man could be tempted to risk resorting to this action and hoping that his customers will not discover eventually? What was he thinking at that point in time? Was it sheer greed cos knowing by doing this to his few of his customers for the day, he could probably save enough pieces to make up to a decent chicken feast for himself tonight, at the expense of his customers whom he cheated?  

(2) Was he being selective in choosing his preys? I reckon that if I am like someone who look older and seen more experienced with life, less naïve/gullible- looking, I would not have suffered the same fate. But really, has anyone ever advised him that one should never judge a person by his looks, appearance or age?  

(3) Would he be expecting some sort of repercussion by doing so? I mean, the overall businesses at KS had already performed below what it initially claimed – providing we residents a friendly ’wet market’ environment with reasonable and affordable (if not cheaper) prices and fresh products. Any passersby could easily notice that those KS stalls have been struggling all these while, with more stall owners than patrons hanging around even at the supposedly peak hours. Did it ever came across his mind that by doing so, his future lossess might be more unthinkable? A Chinese saying spells it all out: Bad news spread a thousand mile.  

(4) It did came to my mind whether should I lodge a complaint to CASE on this hawker. Well, I do not mind the $10 admin charge nor the time needed to follow up on any matter if required to do so, as I just wanted him to receive the due warning. But then, was he worth me doing this? Was it worthy of me to spend another half an hour of my life to bring back that bag of chicken trying to argue with the hawker which he will deny it for sure? 

Eventually, I did come to terms with myself as I believe that whatever actions we took, there will always be return of some form of karma, little or huge, good or bad. This goes especially true for evil-doers. This might just be one big reason why the businesses at KS was that bad.

To me, it is definitely not succumbing to reality or feeling helplessly thinking: “oh, there is nothing we can do about it, he will continue his ways, so let him be…” It is more of whether is it worthy of my time and effort? No, I am rather sure of that.  

(5) Yes, ultimately it was still my own fault. I have to recognize this fact and I could not blame anyone more. I was the one not being firm in my intuitive belief. I had said/ reminded myself that I will not repeat my mistake again, but I eventually compromised what I felt strongly for and not standing by it whole-heartedly, just for the sake of some quick conveniences. This is indeed the repercussion (or karma) arising from my actions taken.  

Obviously, I have not learnt my previous lessons hard enough and still allow myself to be exploited by the poor business ethics that some of the stall owners here constantly practiced. Although this visit proved to be a unhappy one but it virtually reinforced my determination never to repeat history again.  

Well, no matter what, with or without the other chicken breast, Bei and I are still going to enjoy our herbal chicken soup to the fullest tonight! J

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This post may seem out of place – yes, it is written in English, my very first non-Chinese blog post! It stands out pretty weird, especially amidst this oriental wordpress theme that you see here.
I have been pondering over the past few days whether to start a blog post ever in English, say just to toy with the idea on how fast I can really think and type in English as compared to that being done in Chinese. I finally decided that I shall procrastinate no further.

Fear Factor
This is something that I did not intend to do when I initially started out this Chinese blog. I was determined to write and express myself in my mother tongue, purely because it is really my first or rather, my native language, albeit English being my official language in Schools and Workplaces. Since young, I converse (and quarrel) with my parents and sibling in Chinese, I chit-chat with my best pals in Chinese, I pour out my sorrows or share my deepest thoughts with my soul mate (hubby) in Chinese and both of us read Chinese newspaper virtually everyday. So you see, English is more like a 2nd language to me, in that sense. And this is perhaps strange to most, especially in a place called Singapore and for people of my age-group. Well, after all, English has been a dominant Language since the early 1970s where new political landscape formed and government policies rooted to adopting this ‘foreign language’ from the legacy from our colonial era.
Days before, I started to evaluate why did I choose to express myself purely in Chinese and refrain from writing in English? I finally reasoned that it is primarily because I REALLY cannot converse/ communicate/ argue/ quarrel/ scold or even joke better than the native language that I knew. It was a fear factor all along. I hate to reveal the deficiency in me, for not being that bilingual that I’ve thought or wanted myself to be. So I avoided and seek refuge in my comfort zone. I was simply, a coward. Now it may seems I’m being harsh to myself, but I realized I have been cowardice in several other ways throughout my entire life. I’ll probably confess them all in my future posts, but for now, I’ll keep to topic.

A Haunting Shadow
So, let us get back to fear factor. I have had problem scoring decent grades for my English Language examinations for most of my secondary school exams but each time, I managed to scrapped through. But still, worst of all, I eventually failed when it mattered the most – I received a D7 for my final O level EL paper. It was a devastating moment and thereafter I was completely in a self-denial state where my confidence hit rock-bottom! Anyway, that was history now. What I’m trying to say is that my prior experience had molded me into thinking that I’m really bad in story/essay-writing (but I’m fine with writing work reports, actually), so this assumption had instilled into my head all these while 15 years ago. You could say it was perhaps a self-inflicted fear all along. I could not let go of this 15-year old haunting shadow simply because of my lack of courage and determination.
I started to think seriously that this is going to be a huge obstacle for me if I do not ever want to face this hidden shadow dauntlessly. Hence, a more proactive way to overcome this long-time fear is probably just to think no more, face it head-on, right here, right now – and what better way to kick start it from my own blog-writing, expressing and practicing everyday in my very own style.

It is Time-Consuming
Another push factor is probably because I’m really slow in typing Chinese characters, i.e if compared to the Chinese/Taiwan/HK nationals whom I would really call experts in typing Chinese characters. But of course, it is no doubt this is their native and most comfortable language so much so that they have to be intuitively capable of. Lame excuse for me? maybe. Perhaps I did not even bother to improve or that is pure laziness for me not to learn the typing software hard enough. So how slow was it slow for me to type in Chinese after all? Typically, it took me about an hour and 1/2 or so to complete a 1000-word essay in Chinese, which I would really call time-consuming, and much of the time was probably spent in repeatedly backspacing errors or trying to find an alternate Chinese idiom that I could possibly find to express myself more impressively in the post?
All these so-called hassles are getting on my nerves, at least it is taunting me every time an idea for a new post came through my mind but I’m practically refusing or procrastinating to pen them all down, simply of my lethargy in typing Chinese. I lamented that this is not right – I have refused to write in English and worse now, in Chinese just because I thought the typing is a seemingly a chore to me? But until I have successfully conquered the learning curve in using the typing software more efficiently, I reckon it would be wiser and easier for me to not to insisting in having an All-Chinese blog anymore. I hope I do not sound too skimpy in that respect.

My Verdict
Having said all and to think grandiosely, I reckon I will still continue to express myself in in Chinese writings (whenever I feel like and is confident to complete in maybe less than an hour or so) and English being the ‘newly-adopted’ in my blog, will play a more active role here. I love my Chinese language, and that is not going to change now nor perpetually in the future, but I gather it’s going to save me quite a awful lot of my time for my other important stuffs – something of my top priority now.
Ok, so I have decided to confront my fear#1 today and hopefully I am able to realized what I’ve committed. At least I will try…and will see how I fared…

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口口声声把自己归纳为‘developed country – 先进国家’人民的我们，平时最长做的事就是‘合法’的乱丢垃圾！ 

或许有人会辩称：“哎呀，反正他们有人会收拾，我们帮他们清理，他们就没有工作做了吗！” 

不过，这种想法不就等同说“反正街道都会有清道夫每天捡垃圾，我随便丢的垃圾还是会有人把它好好地清理掉”的想法是一样的吗？ 

或者更糟糕的还会说：“这样又没犯法，你管我啊! ” …难道我们真的要每样东西都去立个法，本身的丑陋行为才可以受到控制吗，受到‘教化’吗？ 

在快餐店里的垃圾收集站处处可见，为什么新加坡人还是优雅不起来，自动自发地把自己吃完后的垃圾清理一番呢? 即使你不主动把垃圾丢掉，好歹也把该丢的食物残渣收集在塑料盘里，方便员工收拾。 

每次都在想：为什么人可以吃成这个模样？难道他们在学校学会的、家里教的，都是这些垃圾行为吗？ 

A common scene at our fast food outlet: these are the works of two early 30s adult parents with their toddler kid, after enjoying their McDonald's 'Happy' meal session...

 

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今天漫游网络，恰巧阅读到“一个德士师傅的日记”（A Singapore Taxi Driver’s Diary) 里的一则布落格 – An Eighty Year Old Lady。

读后感动之余，突然让我回想到在好多年前，我也曾经也做过类似小小的‘善举’。那时年纪应该还很小吧，只记得是发生在我家附近的忠邦城里的一段小插曲:

正在西饼店选购面包的我，突然被一个小小的身影给吸引住了。那是位个子特别矮小的老妇人。

老妇人真的很小，个子就好像是个正在发育的小孩。老妇看似应该有80旬了，但并没驼背，只是感觉营养不良，身子瘦削，熏黑的皮肤和脸上的皱褶似呼藏着很多心酸故事。

矮小的老妇人脸上一直带着微微的笑容，甚至还带有点傻气。细看之下，妇人时不时也一直在喃喃自语，当下我马上就觉得老妇人应该是得了老人痴呆或类似精神病的疾病。真可怜。

老妇人在西饼店一直在绕圈子，看到觉得‘希奇’的面包就好奇得拿来看看、摸摸，一直绕、一直看、一直摸，看得店员都对她起了戒心。但或许老妇人早已是个这里的‘常客’了，店员最终也没对老妇人怎样。

老妇人看‘腻’面包后，也就离开了西饼店。我马上放下手中的面包，随即跟了出去——我很好奇她会往那里去。

老妇人边走边看，走到了卖小孩衣物的小店，老妇人的脚步停了下来。老妇人随即地拿起眼前的小裤裤，细细欣赏后，突然向早早已站在他面前的女店员问道，用广东话笑盈盈地问道：“这个多少钱啊？”

女店员看了看她一眼回道：“阿婆，你不会买就不要弄乱我的衣服。”接着就很不客气地把小裤裤给递了回来，整齐的摆回原位。老妇人似乎听不懂似地，还继续傻傻地微笑着。

老妇人或许也是傻人有傻福，听不懂世俗人对她的无礼对待，也就不会感觉难过了。倒是我还真的感到愤愤不平，心里还揪了揪一下下。

老妇人继续‘逛’她的街，她的怪异举止并没多少人留意到，或许是她真的太不起眼了。

走着走着，我竟然忘了得买面回家。那时的我习惯只带足够的领钱下楼买面包，看这手上的钱，再回看老妇人一眼。

我突然转身拔腿往西饼店跑，到了那儿随手抓了一袋面包，付了钱，再拼命地往回跑。

可是，这时老妇人不见了。我四处张望，我很肯定老妇人应该走不远。果然，憔悴身躯的老妇人原来是呆坐在不远处的一个石椅上，傻傻地一个人在自言自语着什么。

我缓缓的走向她，坐在她身旁，但老妇人也没什么理睬我。紧距离看着白发沧桑的老妇人，真的更让人动容。

接着我把手中的面包很迅速（还有点不好意思）地‘丢’进了她手里的一个破旧红色塑胶带。低着头的老妇人突然抬头望向我，跟我咪咪的微笑着。我也毫不犹豫地腼腆回她一笑，马上就抽身而去。

我想，老妇人应该是懂得我的意思吧。

面包买到了，但我没吃着，因为是给了比我更需要的人啊…

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最近2010世足开打，世界杯足球热再度席卷全球。

已经很久没好好的观看一场足球赛了，更别说追看什么世界杯足球赛了。突然觉得对世足即熟悉又陌生。

上世纪的90-98年是我追看世足的疯狂期，因为有他——罗伯多.巴乔（Roberto Baggio)。

后巴乔时代的世足赛，对我来说因该是没太大意义了。

很怀念他在赛场上的英姿，他那巧妙、绝顶一流的脚下功夫，富创造力的进球，我真的相信再也不会有另一个巴乔了…他就是THE LEGEND…

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今天是在学院的最后一天。临别前，艺术廊部门的同事IL送了她亲手挑选、修剪、礼包起来的一束鲜花给我当做道别礼物。

收到花时真的好感动，眼泪差点就不听使唤了…其实跟同事IL也没在工作上有太多接触 （只是恰巧知道他老公曾是我的中学学长，老公姐姐也是中学羽求队的学姐，世界够小吧），但每次都与她交谈甚欢。

受到花时，我想这就是人情味吧。

想一想，毕竟在这里也呆上了近2年了，相比之下身边朝夕相处的‘怪’同事却好像‘只是死了一条狗’般的感觉，对你的离开毫无兴趣，摸无关心…叹…

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